Oct 1, 2009

Stop making me CRY!

This is a comment I received on my blog this morning from a very dear friend i've had for most of my life. I was so touched by it and she asked that I post it to my blog. I'm very hesitant to because it does seem a little personal but she already posted it as a comment so what the heck! I just wanted to say, (tearing up) that I am blown away. There actually needs to be a better word for blown away, I need some male input here.... like nuclear blasted away, by the emails and letters and cards and calls and even sweet packages i've received in the mail. I don' really even know what to say. It's not so much about the who's doing what or what their doing, but the LOVE I feel when their doing it, the look in their eyes or their sweet words. For me, Love does heal, I rely on Love to get me through everything, with out it I know i'd be dead. Love to me is my air.
I feel like Thank You is such a cheap attempt. It's crazy how you don't really believe there's anything you personally have to offer to the world, how your existence seems to not really matter other then to your own personal family. What purpose do I really have? Why am I really here? and What promises did I make of what i'd become and accomplish before I came to this earth? I'm beginning to really truelly understand mine. That is one wonderful thing trials do for you. They MAKE you understand, MAKE you appreciate and MAKE you rely on our Heavenly Father more then ever in your life. Now, I do know. I know and understand a lot of things. Today, I am grateful for my life. I'm grateful for the good, the bad and the ugly. I know my road and everyone elses is still going to have really SUCKY days, and really AMAZING days. My life either seems too good too be true, or too bad to be real. That's who I am and that's just the way it is. I'll take it! Today and everyday, i'm grateful and in His debt.
Thank you dear friend for your comment
and for all the other ones too.

I can't believe all of the things that you have been through in your life. 10 years ago I remembered thinking "I wouldn't have survived a tenth of what you had already been through". Your entire life has been a fight, a battle to overcome! And each time you get knocked down, you stand up, gather your strength, rely on your faith and somehow carry on. I am so overcome by you and your trials. I know this might be a little too personal but i've read your blog for years and am surprised a little that you keep the bad things out of it, you keep so many trials to your self, .... and yet you have this beautiful life. You choose happiness, you choose to fight. You inspire me so much. WIth each trial that i'm faced, I think, I know mariane would think this was not even a big deal and she would smile and serve her way through it. and you do, each time, after all these years, what has it been mariane, like 20 years of your precious life you had to FIGHT like hell to survive, I know our Lord sent you to us to inspire us, to encourage us and to instill faith in us. You are my inspiration, through every tough day of my life. If people really knew you they would love you the way I do. They would appreciate you as the true gift to us all that you really are. I will spend my day today crying. Crying for sadness of your illness and crying for joy for your survival. We need you to survive, this world would literally be a darker place without your glowing spirit and pure joy that you radiate from every part of you. Bless you my sweet sweet dear friend. I love you more then ever!
Survive, so we can too!

October 01, 2009 12:38 PM



Forever Owen said...

WOW! You both took my breath away! Now you've choked me up! But I appreciate reading this and feeling uplifted spiritually! Thank you!

Sarah Phipps said...

You are amazing girl! You are so blessed to have such a good family and such awesome friends. I hate what you are going through, and I can relate in many ways. I am however very envious of the blessing you have had to find such an amazing guy to go through it with. When I think back to when I was really sick a year ago and Paul didnt do a dang thing then later accused me of making myself sick I have such a longing feeling for what you and Clint have. We all have struggles in this life and we will all face different trials, I guess we should be grateful for what we do have.

Anonymous said...

I like you too baby!